Beauty Hurts

When I was fifteen I wanted to get a permanent, this was the 80s and it

really was cool to have big 'Bon Jovi' hair.  My Aunt was wonderful enough

to take me to the salon, where she worked, and had the best stylist take

care of me. I was so excited, until this very stinky chemical was

strategically placed on the roots of my hair. The fumes burned my eyes,

irritated my nose and made me cough. When the mixture reached my scalp I

thought I was on fire! It burned and itched, I could only assume that

something went terribly wrong. In horror, I looked at my Stylist, as tears

started to form around my eyes and without a hint of sympathy she smiled at

me and said "Beauty hurts Sweetie, beauty hurts".

I didn't realize it then, but she was a very wise woman and she had just

passed on to me profound knowledge that I have lived by. Of course beauty

hurts, beauty is a force! Striding in 4 inch stilettos is no walk in the

park. There is no greater burn when your inner thighs are rubbing together

underneath pantyhose and Spanks in 90 degree temperatures! Try breathing

normally when wearing a brand new girdle and its' squeezing your fat into

your ribcage. If you are at all squeamish you can just forget about

threading or waxing your unwanted facial hair and just be content with your

Frida Kahlo or Chewbacca features. For a long time I was content with what I

looked like, I was curvy (meaning the spare tire I carried around my waist)

and I accepted it. I had come to terms with my body because I knew I was pretty

on the inside and somehow that would surface to the outside. Keyword in all

of this is 'CONTENT' but what I wanted was to be happy.

I know now that Beauty is not a description of what you look like but an

action.  Yes, there is pain involved when attempting to obtain the ageless

Tina Turner legs, or the sculptured Michelle Obama arms and keeping that 45

year old ass from defying gravity.  You are in a world of hurt when finding

that underneath all those layers of soft flabby fat are your abs, the core

of your strength and balance. Working out w/Maia and her team will make you

grunt, sweat and curse. The 60 day Journey and P90X Trail will cause your

body to tremble, your heart rate to rise and your muscles to scream "What

the Hell!"...and in return for your commitment in 'Doing You'...you see

results.

I've managed (and this has not been an easy task) to lose 7lbs and 11 inches

over all (from my arms, legs, breasts, waist and hips), in less than 8

weeks. I'm stronger now than when I was in my 20s, I may no longer have the

big hair but I also don't have the big gut. Yes, I hurt the morning after a

hard workout but it's a good hurt. It reminds me that I did something

challenging and positive for me. I'm only half way in this journey and it

doesn't get any easier but I'm surrounded by BEAUTIFUL people that encourage

and motivate me to keep coming to class, eating right, and BLOGGING (Yes

Tommy...this one I dedicate to you).

The Exorcism of Jose Cuervo

Again, I find myself focusing on my goals only to be tempted by that evil snake of Jose. I worked out 5 days this week and felt great, I joined Livestrong.com (to record my calories, water intake and exercise routine) a very clever site, love it. I removed rice, bread and pasta from my daily meals, I reduced the amount of Diet Coke I consume on a weekly basis, and limit my red wine intake to one glass a day.  Then Saturday night rolls around and I find myself in the San Antonio Bar & Grill (my version of Cheers….where the bartenders know my name) with a bunch of Fun Ladies before seeing Magic Mike (yes….the stripper movie…don’t judge me). Needless, to say as soon as we arrived I was asked…Large or Small? Small I answered with confidence. Yes, just one Margarita, Jose Cuervo 1800 on the rocks w/salt! I’ll just have one and go see the movie….but as soon as the glass landed in front of me….it evaporated! Before I knew it, my Bartender (Juan….yes, I’m calling him out), was brining me a second glass. As he placed it in front of me, he smiled and said “it has an extra shot of venom!” Damn you Juan, you remembered that I enjoyed my venom on the rocks w/salt! Thankfully, I was pulled out of my chair as I finished my 3^rd Rita. I did enjoy the movie but there was a little voice in me that kept nagging…”calories, calories”. That was it, I knew what I had to do! Bikram Yoga! I was going to sweat that Jose out of my body. I knew I didn’t have too much time to lose so Sunday morning at 8 I found myself w/my support group ready to have him exorcised thru my pores. It was a grueling 90 minutes. There were moments I thought I would pass out, I felt my head elevating towards the ceiling (light headed), and tried to con the instructor in letting me out by faking that I needed a potty break. He looked me straight in the face and said “no pee pee or ka ka here!” Yes, I was in hell and sweating 80% of my body’s fluids. As I lay on the floor (the last 5 minutes of the exercise) my soul returned to my weak body when a cold wet and scented towel was handed to me and placed on my face. AAAHHHHH!!!! I was going to be alright. ;-)

The Problem

The problem is not that I work out…..it’s that it’s not enough

The problem is not that I get distracted….it’s that I’m distracted from my goals

The problem is not the Happy Hour….it’s realizing how long an hour is

The problem is not the bad influences….but rising above it

The problem is not that I cheat…..it’s that I like it

The problem is not that I lie…..but that I do it to myself

The problem is not my friends (Jose, Johnny, Jack, Mr Smirnoff).….it’s me and I know it

The problem is not the journey….but seeing the road ahead

So, for this first week I was able to commit to working out 5 days (4 at the Worx and once at the gym). What I was not able to do was to commit to a meal plan. Weekends are the hardest to plan for a flurry of reasons like; where I am, who I’m with and what I’m doing. I tried sharing my meal on Friday night w/my date only to realize that he ate most of what was on the plate and claimed to be full. So for the next few hours that we were out….I secretly loathed him.

Anyway, I could sit here and go over all my failed attempts this weekend but why? I’m not going to get those moments back, it’s not like I get  a ‘do over’ w/the calories I inhaled. This is a new week and I start again. This week’s goal to plan and portion meals…..hmmm….the journey is long and I see a road full of bumps and curves….but then again….so am I! J

Do these shoes make my butt look smaller?

I remember reading once that high heels, not only made you stand up straighter, but it also made you look thinner. So the more weight I put on…the higher the heels! J

My goals for this journey are very simple….I want be healthier, I want to be able to go up and down my staircase w/out any joint pain, I want to be able to have the energy to run around w/my grandkids and I want to be able to commit to a better me….in flats.   

My reasons for not being where I should be are very simple also, I LOVE FOOD. It has been my longest relationship, and it has managed to keep my temper under control. Food has been w/me in the good times, the bad, and the ugly. I truly believe that it loves me back, because it hugs my mid section, thighs, and arms. I can only assume that the detachment will be difficult for the both of us.

So, here I am ready to start my 60 Days and all I can say is that I’m glad I’m not alone. J